the best non-knitting use for a tape measure

Knitting to the X-Files was relating this story to me the other day, and I feel I have to share it with everyone I know, because she is a total genius. She was at some sort of gathering, and two guys were arguing about something, as guys do, back and forth, pointlessly. The whole thing had dissolved into a pissing contest, and KttXF was sick of listening to it. So she whips her trusty tape measure out of her knitting bag, slams it on the table, and yells, "OK, let's just settle this right now!"

Stunned silence. The guys stare at her in horror and disbelief and then, quietly, slink away, tails between their legs.

I want to be just like her when I grow up.