a knitter navigates through life

Monday, March 3, 2008

I get by with a little help from my friends . . .

One of my very dear friends sent me this miraculous gem of wisdom, which she originally heard from her boyfriend and has embellished with her own theories.
"[Her boyfriend] had a friend in grad school, Oscar, who had a theory that as soon as women hear that a man is 27, they bolt. (The solution for Oscar as a 27-year-old in a dry spell was to wait it out for a couple of years.) The supposed reason the women were bolting is that men have this confused, and in many cases, intolerable phase. It comes in the phase in between their early and mid-twenties when they know what they want and have direction - for the near-term at least (to party, have fun, hang out, etc.) and the 30ish phase, when they also know what they want and where they're going (wife, 2.1 kids, house, dog, etc. for most of them). If you find a guy in this in-between phase, you get strange, conflicted, maddening behavior.
To fill out the theory with my own musings: it's not just that the 27-year-old can't commit; 23-year-olds won't either, but with them you know what you're getting, and it's consistent. It's that the 23-year-old and the 30-year-old versions of him are duking it out, and you're stuck in the crossfire. Consider yourself collateral damage. He doesn't necessarily have to be 27 of course. In retrospect, I've seen this in 25-year-olds and in 30-year-olds, but 27 does seem to be the median age for this behavior. I suspect that women may have this phase too, but instead of lasting for two years, it lasts about two days, and gets blamed on PMS.
One flaw in Oscar's theory (the part that explained why he couldn't get a date) is that it takes most women a couple of bad experiences with the 27-year-olds to figure this out (and by then, they have either lucked into a prematurely post-27-phase guy, naturally moved on to 30-somethings, or joined a convent)."
This explains EVERYTHING. That will be all.


Gotta Knit! said...

Well there is the whole Saturn Return thing at 27.

Jana said...

i don't know if i buy that...everyone is different, and who is to say that when you reach a certain age you "know" what you want? age is simply a number. it's more about the person you are and the person you are with.

mandycharlie said...

I like that.

Gotta Knit! said...

In all seriousness, I think your friend's friend has a great point. For me, when I was that age range, I began to realize that I just couldn't play at life anymore like I could get away with in early 20's. It suddenly hit me I was getting older and really needed to be an adult. Took a few years to figure out what being an adult meant to me.

Maybe it was the same for your dude.

All I know is I would not EVER want to be 26 1/2 through 28 again!!

Megan said...

I can't believe I missed this saga! I read about your socks, but missed this?
Anyway, I really think it depends on you. How do YOU feel about him? Why is he suddenly contacting you again? Why now? If you like his answers and you still think you might like him, then give him a break. He was awfully young a year and a half ago. Maybe he has grown up a bit.

The Mad Crocheter said...

Dude. I really, really think there is something to this theory. And that makes me a bit nervous, because James turns 27 in July. It worries me a little that someday he'll decide to have this stage belatedly.