a knitter navigates through life

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

we need a better word for this

I took off my Monkey socks the other evening, beginning the soothing process of my nightly rituals, preparing me for slumber.

And noticed this.

The squeamish among you will want to avert your eyes.

It isn't pretty.

Consider yourself warned.




And all thoughts of sleep were indefinitely postponed as I flailed about the room, swearing with impressive vigor and enthusiasm. My rational mind, bless its little heart, put forth a number of completely rational suggestions, like, "OK, there's a hole in your handknit sock. It's not the end of the world."
The rest of my mind, the part that was vacillating wildly between flailing and passing out, shrieked, "Screw you, rational mind! It is a giant *&%ing HOLE IN MY HANDKNIT SOCK!!!"
Rational mind: "Yes, but you can fix that."
Flailing mind: "Screw you, rational mind! It is a giant *&%ing HOLE IN MY HANDKNIT SOCK!!!"
Rational mind: "Calm down. I can totally fix it. All you need is the leftovers of the yarn, a few size 0 sock needles, and I will handle everything."
Flailing mind: "Screw you, rational mind! It is a giant *&%ing HOLE IN MY HANDKNIT SOCK!!! Also, this is a completely rational and proportional response to finding a giant *&%ing HOLE IN MY HANDKNIT SOCK!!! I will calm down when I am good and ready!"

Eventually, we all reached a compromise, and my flailing mind settled down to hyperventilate quietly while my rational mind began to pick up stitches and begin the repair.

I know they're called "darns", but let's be honest, they should be called "*&%%^#$ (*&^ (*& ^$#@ $#!!^".

2 comments:

Gotta Knit! said...

to to funny!

Eve said...

I rarely use the reinforcement yarn, but one thing I've heard it's really good for is providing a base upon which you can duplicate stitch. After looking at those *%$@^##! holes, I'm definitely thinking about it.