What's crazier than planning a wedding in ten days? Deciding you need to make a handknit sweater to wear to the wedding in ten days. The stress of getting married does strange things to one's ability to tell reason from madness.
I had a dress already, so that was done, but, apparently believing this planning-a-wedding-in-10-days thing didn't sound crazy enough, I decided I NEEDED to wear a handknit sweater. I'd been playing with the idea of a basketweave cardigan in the orange Malabrigo, and fortunately I already had a gauge swatch, so I just cast on the correct-ish number of stitches and went for it.
My mom told me about her friend whose son is a photographer. Sold! Actually, the conversation went something like this.
Mom: "Kathy's son Alex does wedding photography."
Me: "Great. Let's go with that."
Mom: "Are you interested in looking at his portfolio?"
Me: "Nah, I'm sure he's fine. Book him."
Mom: "Don't you at least want to see his pictures?"
Me: "Nah. How many ways can you screw up a wedding? I'm sure he's fine. Book him."
Mom: "Look, I've pulled up his website on the computer. Come look at his portfolio."
Me: "I'm sure he's fine-"
Mom: "Come look at his portfolio!"
Me: "Fine." looks "He's fine. Book him!"
The body of the sweater finished quickly, and I cast on for sleeves. I made nice long cuffs because I have the arms of an orangutan and can never find sleeves long enough. Also, my hands are always cold and I like to have sleeves long enough that I can tuck my hands in them for warmth. I sort of winged it when I got to the sleeve increases. They came out a little wonky at first because I couldn't decide how I wanted them to work with the basketweave pattern, but I got it figured out. They're in the armpit anyway and with this deadline, I wasn't going to kill myself with the details.
My little sister had wanted to perform my wedding ever since she found out that was possible. We poked around and discovered that the state of Georgia really doesn't care who marries you as long as all your paperwork is legal, so we got her ordained as a minister of the Universal Life Church one night. (Confession: she was drooling on a towel after emergency wisdom-teeth-removal surgery, so I actually filled out all the stuff for her. Shhh!) Officiant? Check! And for free!
The sweater body was done; the sleeves were done, and I was running dangerously low on yarn. I put in an emergency order to Eat.Sleep.Knit. for two more skeins. Two days later, the yarn showed up at my door. I love Eat.Sleep.Knit, and the delivery speed further cemented my obsession. Those people are like yarn ninjas!
Jason's only suit was old and ill-fitting, so that had to be replaced. Honestly, this was the most trying part of the whole wedding. Guy clothes are hard to shop for and expensive, and Jason hates to a) try stuff on, and b) spend money. We've always had a backup plan, for if the wedding didn't work out: murder/suicide. That plan got a lot of VERY SERIOUS CONSIDERATION over the agonizing two-day deathmarch of suit shopping. We finally got a very spiffy-looking, not-too-expensive suit, and I finished the yoke of the sweater. Handsome groom? Check!
Mom: "Kathy's son Alex does wedding photography."
Me: "Great. Let's go with that."
Mom: "Are you interested in looking at his portfolio?"
Me: "Nah, I'm sure he's fine. Book him."
Mom: "Don't you at least want to see his pictures?"
Me: "Nah. How many ways can you screw up a wedding? I'm sure he's fine. Book him."
Mom: "Look, I've pulled up his website on the computer. Come look at his portfolio."
Me: "I'm sure he's fine-"
Mom: "Come look at his portfolio!"
Me: "Fine." looks "He's fine. Book him!"
The body of the sweater finished quickly, and I cast on for sleeves. I made nice long cuffs because I have the arms of an orangutan and can never find sleeves long enough. Also, my hands are always cold and I like to have sleeves long enough that I can tuck my hands in them for warmth. I sort of winged it when I got to the sleeve increases. They came out a little wonky at first because I couldn't decide how I wanted them to work with the basketweave pattern, but I got it figured out. They're in the armpit anyway and with this deadline, I wasn't going to kill myself with the details.
My little sister had wanted to perform my wedding ever since she found out that was possible. We poked around and discovered that the state of Georgia really doesn't care who marries you as long as all your paperwork is legal, so we got her ordained as a minister of the Universal Life Church one night. (Confession: she was drooling on a towel after emergency wisdom-teeth-removal surgery, so I actually filled out all the stuff for her. Shhh!) Officiant? Check! And for free!
The sweater body was done; the sleeves were done, and I was running dangerously low on yarn. I put in an emergency order to Eat.Sleep.Knit. for two more skeins. Two days later, the yarn showed up at my door. I love Eat.Sleep.Knit, and the delivery speed further cemented my obsession. Those people are like yarn ninjas!
Jason's only suit was old and ill-fitting, so that had to be replaced. Honestly, this was the most trying part of the whole wedding. Guy clothes are hard to shop for and expensive, and Jason hates to a) try stuff on, and b) spend money. We've always had a backup plan, for if the wedding didn't work out: murder/suicide. That plan got a lot of VERY SERIOUS CONSIDERATION over the agonizing two-day deathmarch of suit shopping. We finally got a very spiffy-looking, not-too-expensive suit, and I finished the yoke of the sweater. Handsome groom? Check!
I ordered a bouquet of daisies from a local flower store, and Mom made reservations at our favorite restaurant for the after-wedding-dinner (I guess you'd call it a reception, but it was just like a dinner with our families.) I finished weaving in the ends of my sweater the night before the wedding, and by some miracle, it came out perfectly. I'd tried it on as I went, and used The Knitter' s Handy Book of Sweater Patterns to help me figure out the sleeve and shoulder decreases, but this sweater came out far more perfectly than anything designed and knit in ten days has any right to. The knitting goddesses were smiling upon me.
The next day, we got married, with a short little ceremony, perfect weather, a beautiful location, and our families. It was exactly what I wanted. Plus, I got this really great husband out of it!
Just add water, and boom! (Nearly) instant wedding!
