we need a better word for this

I took off my Monkey socks the other evening, beginning the soothing process of my nightly rituals, preparing me for slumber.

And noticed this.

The squeamish among you will want to avert your eyes.

It isn't pretty.

Consider yourself warned.




And all thoughts of sleep were indefinitely postponed as I flailed about the room, swearing with impressive vigor and enthusiasm. My rational mind, bless its little heart, put forth a number of completely rational suggestions, like, "OK, there's a hole in your handknit sock. It's not the end of the world."
The rest of my mind, the part that was vacillating wildly between flailing and passing out, shrieked, "Screw you, rational mind! It is a giant *&%ing HOLE IN MY HANDKNIT SOCK!!!"
Rational mind: "Yes, but you can fix that."
Flailing mind: "Screw you, rational mind! It is a giant *&%ing HOLE IN MY HANDKNIT SOCK!!!"
Rational mind: "Calm down. I can totally fix it. All you need is the leftovers of the yarn, a few size 0 sock needles, and I will handle everything."
Flailing mind: "Screw you, rational mind! It is a giant *&%ing HOLE IN MY HANDKNIT SOCK!!! Also, this is a completely rational and proportional response to finding a giant *&%ing HOLE IN MY HANDKNIT SOCK!!! I will calm down when I am good and ready!"

Eventually, we all reached a compromise, and my flailing mind settled down to hyperventilate quietly while my rational mind began to pick up stitches and begin the repair.

I know they're called "darns", but let's be honest, they should be called "*&%%^#$ (*&^ (*& ^$#@ $#!!^".

Monkey! Monkey!!!

At last! Completed Monkey socks!
To recap:
Pattern: Monkey, by Cookie A. free from Knitty.com
Yarn: Artyarns Ultramerino 4, colorway 106

Monkey attack!!!

will to live . . . returning!

And thank god, because for a few days there, I was my very own cadre of dwarves: Sleepy, Sneezy, Dopey, Grumpy, Achy, Phlegmy, and Irritable. Because what's more fun that getting sick? Getting sick WHILE starting your period! Fun! It was the really passive-aggressive type of sick, too, where the thermometer never registered above 99.4. If I feel this crappy, dangit, I should have an actual fever. But, hallelujah, the illness seems to be receding, I think I'm going to live, and I feel well enough to be happy about it.

In other news, the weather turned abruptly cold and crappy the day after Thanksgiving ("the forecast for today: cold and crappy, becoming extremely crappy in the afternoon. Tomorrow: continuing crappiness with a chance of wet and crappy in the evening.") And this is the state my socks are in.

Must knit faster.

can I get another HEEL YEAH!

Warning: I think the whole "heel yeah!" joke is very very funny. It is entirely likely I will keep using it every. single. time. I turn a heel. This could be a lot of times. If you find it annoying - well, um, actually I can't help you. How about you just go check out people who are funnier than I? Anyway, for those of you who are still here, check out my sock heel!


Monkey sock redux on larger needles was wildly successful and cured the Horrible Pooling of Yuckiness. I would have taken a progress shot before I got to the heel but, um, well, I have no excuse. I suck. It's a problem. I also started the second RPM sock, which I will show you tomorrow. Tonight, we drown Megan's sorrows with margaritas and tequila!

ch-ch-ch-changes

This is sort of like one of those obnoxious word problems from high school algebra: If a knitter, traveling at thirty-five mph from Boston has just finished thirty Lizard Ridge squares and has gone a little stir-crazy from the sameness of it all, how many new projects can she cast on in a 48-hour period? Bonus: how many of them will be socks?
Here we have the magic of transformation:


Take one crappy, heavily pooling Monkey sock cuff, apply heavy frogging, and voila!

You have sock yarn! I love sock yarn. I do not like crappy socks with bad pooling that, it turns out, are too tight to go over my heel. (A huge shout-out to Thursday Night Kerry for untangling the Giant Knot I made. I owe you my firstborn.)
Likewise, take one shawl that was cute in concept, but in real life was not actually big enough to wrap around one's shoulders, thus 1) entirely negating its usefulness as a shawl, and 2) making me look like a cross between a hippy and a Russian peasant girl, which is not at all flattering.


Heavy frogging transforms it from a crappy shawl to . . . .


Sock yarn?! I love sock yarn! (Big thanks to the Yarn Sprite for assisting with the frogging. You're the best, and also the cutest.)
In the news of Actual Progress, we have the RPM socks, which previously looked like this


And now look like this


Here it is on. Yes, I know the picture is lousy; do you know how hard it is to take a picture of your own foot from the side?


I am so close to the heel, I can taste it! And my foot is not normally that funny-looking. At least I hope it's not.
We also have swatching for another sock.


I'm hoping this will become Hedera, from Cookie A.
And last, we have one of my favorites


Kerry's handspun


Which is going to be a squishy, squooshy keyhole scarf. Go check out her Etsy shop.

As for me, I have a sock heel to turn.

can we have cooler weather now, please?

Autumn has officially fallen, according to the tree outside my back door.


And the Lizard Ridge blanket is residing on my dresser, 1) being decorative, and 2) glaring at me balefully.

Sew me up, dangit!

I'm still experimenting with the layout.


I'd really like to take a few black and white pictures to make sure the progression of color values is even, but I cannot for the life of me figure out how to do it on my computer or with my camera. I combed the manual this morning and found zip.

Combing the manual! Ha! Get it? I crack me up.

If anyone has the foggiest clue of how to do this, I will write songs and poems about you in exchange for your assistance.

In the meantime, I'm working on a pair of Monkey socks

Notice the alarming amount of pooling? I am not so much pleased.

and a pair of RPM socks. I used Judy's Magic Cast-On for Toe-Up Socks, and I really like it. Plus, I feel all spiffy and knitterly that I learned a new technique.


If you need me, I'll be doing my cold weather dance, in hopes of getting some actual fall-type weather. It's dang hard to get motivated to seam up a queen-sized wool blanket with lows in the upper 60's.