don't be a jerk if you are crock-pot-sized and taste good with ketchup

Common wisdom would suggest that if one is conveniently crock-pot-sized, then one should not be a jerk and go around destroying the property of wrathful crock-pot owners.

Who, me? No! I would never.

Exhibit A: My new bathroom rug.


Nothing too spectacular, but soft and cushy and absorbent and doesn't show cat hair and (thank god) cheap. I love this rug, and THIS:

is what the black fluffy buttmonkey did to the rug this morning, while I was standing there brushing my teeth. What is it about cats, when you yell at them for doing something they KNOW is bad? Dogs at least have the decency to look guilty. Cats look at you like, "What?" or "Yeah, yeah, in a minute. Lemme finish eating this rug first." Misbegotten ungrateful brat.

And no, of course I didn't slow roast the kitty, although I haven't ruled it out. Instead, I let both of them up into the linen cupboard to sleep on our towels and coat them with cat hair.


Yep. I'm a sucker.